My husband, Tom is no longer my husband

My husband divorced me which ended our family.  He went into court and got the divorce finalized on July 27, 2019.  We were separated for almost 3 years... then he decided to do divorce paperwork  on January 7th.  He was giving me notice that he was doing the paperwork and that was a heads up.  He had his house, a job and he is where he wants to be.

My auto-immune system failed and started to attack itself on that day he called April's house to let me know.  My body reacted to his notice in a negative way.  I cried so hard on the front door couch.  April brought over a new soft blanket that was beautiful and I loved it that she and her family gave me a few days before for my christmas present!  She was sooo very sweet to wrap me with my blanket and I so felt her love and warmth as Tom was giving me cold and hurtful news of his decision to divorce me.  I heard Tom crying on the other side of the phone...  This was hard on both of us.

I was so glad that April was next to me on the ottoman.  She, too was crying.  She took care of me after the phone call.  She was inspired to ask me if I wanted to go to the Payson Temple that night.  And we did!  That was such a beautiful and comforting suggestion!  It was in the temple chapel that we sat near a painting that showed Lazarus being raised from the dead by Jesus.  I felt God tell me that it wasn't over with Tom and I.  Tom was going to be 'raised up' and our dead situation will be risen and made a live through Jesus.

I felt tears stream hard down my face!  There was a sister that was walking by us in the temple celestial room.  I had noticed that she kept walking by us a lot.  It wasn't till we were heading to change our temple clothes into street clothes did she approach me.  She told she didn't know how to tell me but she wanted me to know that Heavenly Father wanted me to know that He loves me.

I was so touched!!!  But I felt overwhelmed in the same breath.  I realized I had so much I needed to do beforehand and that was working on me.  To become MORE through Christ who strengthen me.  I needed to change.  I needed to be stronger spiritually and financially I needed to have money to come back to visit my kids.  It is almost a month since I have been divorced and I am grieving but I am comforted and being strengthen through God and I am loving it!!

By the way, April was just called to be the Young Women's President.

CelebrateWomenOnline.com

To Lily... I did it! I wrote in my blog. :)

I dedicate this blog to my oldest granddaughter, Lily :)  I hadn't written in my blog for soooo veryyyy loooong.  Can you tell? hehe.  Lily has been wondering when will I start posting in my blog so she could read it.  She has been patiently asking for quite some time and I am so old that I can't remember how long. lol.  Lily, you are one of the big inspirations of happiness to me and I love you more then the stars in the sky!!  Are you proud of me that I FINALLY wrote in my blog?  I love this pic of us because it looks like the heavens are smiling down upon us.  This is one of my favorite places on earth because Bridal Veil Falls has lots of fun memories here with your mommy and her brothers and sisters as they were growing up and I cherish moments when I can come back with loved ones like you :)  This was such a unexpected short vacation that we took going back home to Roosevelt from Utah County!  I'll always remember this and other fun times with you and our families!  Sleep tight my dear Lily, as I know you are asleep as I write this at 10:12 p.m.  I promised you I would write in it today and I surprised myself that I did!! ahaha  Thank you for having hope of a brighter tomorrow always.  Love you!

"Mom, would you take Fall Pictures of my Family?"

and the answer is.... YES!! I had fun taking their pictures and it was a last minute thang and I was not dress to be seen in public but that was remedied rather quickly as I got a chance to have fun! Luckily, my camera was charged and in no time I was meeting them at their church. Rubber slippers on made it a bit more tricky taking pictures while sliding all over the tons of colorful leaves! But fun I had as I was trying to beat the sun going down. And it was going down FAST! Thank you for asking me to take portraits of you all! Love through the camera, yah!

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Smile for Gwamma, Devon!

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Fall Fun as a Family :)

I truly enjoyed spending time with my family!! My heart is full when I do! I so enjoyed going to Thanksgiving Point to The Barn < I hope that is what it is called> hehe. We missed Kelli , Spencer and April , Tom and Geoff . When I was there with them at The Barn... my heart ached for my little babies of my own that was now enjoying their own babies!

I wanted to tell Joseph, 'Can mommy put you right here, next to me? Just don't run anywhere k?! We are sitting down for a little rest. k? Joseph, k? Joseph look at me, not at that. This is important, mom needs some rest." to only see him turn to me, all the while, smiling at me! Which made me think what is he up to?! My anxiety level goes up. Cute smile but I never knew what he was going to do next! lol

OR to Lani, "You can move now. We are leaving."

OR to Micah, "Where are you Micahhhh?? Honey, we can't find him!" I'd be in tears cuz I swear he was right next to me and who knows what stranger might've taken him!

OR to Jacob, "Where did you drop your bottle now?!! *sighs* I think we need to go to the store, cuz we ran out of bottles...again."

... I remembered putting them on their horses to ride, feeding them their bottles, running after them for the 98 1/2 times and 5 minutes hadn't passed by and wishing their was more then one of me! They have grown up Heavenly Father, just like you said they would... I guess I will alway be their m:o)mME watching them grow up and loving them all the while. I still miss them even when they are in the same room as me. I love their spouses like my own children and my heart tugs when I am constantly reminded that they love my "little big ones" that I so cherish and that is why I love their spouses so!!

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Mother's Day 2011

I LOVE YOU GWAMMA!

I soo cherish this gift given to me for Mother's Day!! I have that posted on my wall in my den to remember how much I am loved. This has put a smile on my face everytime I have looked at it! Simply beautiful! I love my grandbabies :)

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I love these 2 smileboxes of my daughters!

I could not make up my mind which smilebox to put on here. I love taking pictures of my kids, since they were small! Now I just will get my guys on here, too! I love my kids sooo very much! God has truly blessed me with them!!!! Then they married and gave me dang awesome daughter and son in laws that I just adore! And... of course my gwanbabies..........they are the best in the world! I love them all! Enjoy these pictures I made in a smilebox a few years back but never posted it. duh. :)

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And this I think is my favorite, cuz it has both my daughters in them!

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Colorado FUN!

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Tom came up with this idea on a weekend, that we should just get up and go somewhere in the car. Maybe go somewhere we never went before. We would just drive and see where time takes us. Gosh! That was such a fun idea! I hate the fact that gas cost soo much *sighs* but it was dang worth it! We needed that kind of memories for our relationship! I needed that for myself especially...! I wish we could be more spontaneous like that. I soaked in a hot tub outside of our hotel room and that was sweet. The sky was perfect with all the stars! Tom was inside and didn't care to come out but I enjoyed every bit of that alone time. :) The food was to die for as we ate at this really nice place. Maybe when I look at our bank account I could find out and post it here. I never ate what I ate, so that was adventurous but it doesn't help that I don't remember the name of my dish. eek. I love hearing Tom's dreams. I am glad he has them. I love to see him smile that makes me smile...

Could this be our New Home?

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We Found a Home to Buy!

We hope to buy this soon and get this home up by Fall. Good luck to us? ahaha! I love this home and Tom does, too. We will have the best neighbors in Ballard, too! Ha!

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Jaxon It's Your Blessing Day!

This day was so incredible! It was nice to see lots of people there to support Micah, Mandy and Jaxon. You could just feel 'the love'. :) I put together a smilebox slideshow of this awesome day that they blessed their son, Jaxon. I was so proud of Micah in using his priesthood so lovingly! He not only blessed his son but he blessed everyone who was able to witness this! Thank you Micah and Mandy for inviting us! We love YOU!

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What a Precious Sealing!!

I truly had a most wonderful weekend. I wished I had pictures of the sealing of my son, Micah to his wife, Mandy and then to their son, Jaxon in the Timpanogos Temple. I will always cherish the pictures that my heart took. I remember seeing Micah's eyes looking at the woman he loves for all eternity. As his mother, I recall many times when I would see gratitude in my son's eyes and I was able to see that precious same look as he gazed in his wife's eyes! His hands were like when he was a baby, were as stocky as I remember it when I first held his hand as a baby. It made me cry to see him take his wife's hands into his stocky hand, as they came to the altar. Then to top it off... there was their son, Jaxon's hand, stocky like his dad and just as cute as his dad's were at his age! They put his little big hand on theirs while it was still on the altar and sealed their son to them, as they became a family sealed for time and all eternity! It was so cute to see Jaxon smile at his mom and dad! I felt truly the spirit whispering how much God loved this family!!! Of course, I couldn't stop crying. I then had to pray harder that I won't let out a sob. I would've died in that temple that day, if that happened. :)

I got soo much to blog

Ya! My last blog was back in March?? Oh dear heart. Looks like I better step up my game. I am home today sick as a dog......blahlah moments. I wanted to make sure I blog on some really 'specially' moments that happened in not to far past that made a difference in my life like my grandson's Jaxon sealing to his parents, Micah and Mandy (who made a positive move in their relationship by being sealed in the temple) and his blessing by his loving father. ok ok... stay tuned.

A Day Not Promised to YOU

I love TODAY!

Today may be the only day I have.

What do I want to do?

Think. Think. Think.

I want to say I love YOU

to everyone that I will miss!

I want to bless their lives as they have

truly blessed mine.

~

That means that may take a very long while.

Like more then 24 hours, that's not even enuff,

even if I didn't sleep?

hm.

Okay, I know I would probably live yet another day and many more after

but

I have decided to humbly ask God to bless

my loved ones lives as they have done mine and more!

Now...

THAT is an EFFECTIVE way to do things!

He knows how to bless them more then I ever could!!

I'll just be his fumbling assistant.

I am so glad there is my loving Father in Heaven

to share my heart with.

I love You, Father.

You are the bestest Father a kid could ever have!

Can't wait to dance on your toes.

:)

Laughing Here

Somehow I seen my boys in this... I love them!

The congregation sat in silence as the fast and testimony meeting hit a lull. Jeff checked the clock---twenty more minutes until the meeting ended. He couldn't help but notice Tom nodding off next to him.

A mischievous idea popped into Jeff's head. He leaned over, nudged Tom, and whispered n a hushed tone, "Tom, wake up. The bishop just called on you to give the closing prayer.

Alarmed, Tom glanced up at the bishop, who gave him a smile. Tom stood up and rushed to the pulpit. The congregation eagerly awaited Tom's testimony as he folded his arms, closed his eyes, and proceeded to say the closing prayer. At the conclusion, Tom turned, shook the stunned bishop's hand, and exited the pulpit.

People still refer to that meeting as the one that got out on time. (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief,p. 82)

Laughing Here

Somehow I seen my boys in this little story. I love them!

The congregation sat in silence as the fast and testimony meeting hit a lull. Jeff checked the clock---twenty more minutes until the meeting ended. He couldn't help but notice Tom nodding off next to him.

A mischievous idea popped into Jeff's head. He leaned over, nudged Tom, and whispered n a hushed tone, "Tom, wake up. The bishop just called on you to give the closing prayer.

Alarmed, Tom glanced up at the bishop, who gave him a smile. Tom stood up and rushed to the pulpit. The congregation eagerly awaited Tom's testimony as he folded his arms, closed his eyes, and proceeded to say the closing prayer. At the conclusion, Tom turned, shook the stunned bishop's hand, and exited the pulpit.

People still refer to that meeting as the one that got out on time. (Mormon Mishaps and Mischief,p. 82)

LOOK at our cute family winning $200!

These are memories I will never forget! If you keep watching you will see a race with Lani, Steve, Jacob and April and their cheerleaders! They won $200 as first prize winners and were placed in Vernal's highlight video for 2008 for Holly Days a big event in the Uintah Basin Area! That was a fun night (cooold for sure)! They are in the smooshing contest! What winners!!! You will see Lily and Lani picking up ice cubes with prizes in another shot (like easter egg hunt but with ice).

Family Memories... I love them!

I got to have a sleep over with 2 of our grandbabies, Amara and Lily. I am so blessed to have the memories of our grandbabies. Family memories is the best thang one can own. Which makes me think of having Alzheimers. Those memories leave you... I hope to cherish them and never take it for granted for I may never always have them. I love my children because of them, I feel like a precious daughter of God.

Life sometimes isn't fair...

I couldn't help but think of attitudes this morning. Tom went to bed with an attitude of "I am tired of working". He said he wanted his turn in taking 4-5 months of work off. I felt his frustration and anger. I commented that he should get sick and almost die, like I did. (Like I had a choice in losing my job and having to find another one in that meat market out there after being very sick. That was not something I chose to do, because I loved my job. But I never told him this part). Just wanted him to vent as we all need to do often. And I wanted to be there for him. Life do has it's disappointments for sure. I thought of my children and their disappointments. That got discouraging real quick as I felt their pain as a mom that comes along with that. But I could see something really great and that there is HOPE in the journey because they as well as I have the power to think powerful 'Good thoughts'. There is Hope in hopeful thoughts.

Like Peter Pan in the movie 'HOOK'. The lost boys kept telling Peter that he needed to think 'happy thoughts' in order for him to fly! Even if you fall hard more times then you want and the ground doesn't seem to be getting softer, IT IS NOT AN OPTION to get our sorry BUTTOCKS OFF the sorry floor and keep trying to fly 'over our problems to get the bigger picture', unless you like living in MUCK! Fight the complaining and better yet KNOCK IT OFF our To Do List! GET OVER IT! (As my husband would tell me often!) I just never have the guts to tell him that same thing. hehe.

The clincher to the movie was Peter Pan's 'happy thoughts' were his good memories of his family... something he forgot.

I missed a very IMPORTANT weekend...

I missed a very important weekend with our other kids & grandkids in Utah County... that makes me sad. It was Jacob's surprise party (couldn't safely drive becuz I was exhausted to make that 2 hr. trip!) I worked hard most of the day doing construction clean up at Lani and Steve's new house that day thinking a contractor was coming in... I found out later, they canceled for a later time. *sighs* then Sunday my plans to go to April and Spencer's talk and cute lil' JJ's 1 yr. old party dissipated quickly. I was quickly trying to finish my church work to go, when a recent widow caught me after church and wanted me to spend time with her because she felt very lonely and felt she could talk to me. We spent time at her husband's gravesite and her home as she shared all her pictures on the wall of her family. She loved them so. She also shared with me that during her lifetime she lost several children, all about 5-6 mos premature. It was sad but I held her often and let her talk and cry. She also made a poem about them that she actually rescited to me about those little ones. I was extremely blessed to have been God's heart for her. I don't really know her but she chose me to share this with. My
sincerest prayers are with her. I hoped that I helped her... but it was too late to make the trip to Utah County. I feel very sad that I also missed what is important to my children. I'm sure they would've preferred me there to celebrate a day that was important to them. I believe God will extremely bless them for letting me be the arms for Him to hug this sweet sister who needed to feel them... I love you, my children (that includes their spouses big time) and my grandkids, too... ALL OF YOU!

It's Weigh In Time!

Get better Stephen! I needed to help Lani (Steve was very sick in bed this weekend) while she went to a recommend interview. Getting ready for the day, I hear underfoot, the lil' girls weighing themselves. 2 yr. old Amara stares at the scale Lily is on and says, "yup 42 pounds". 4 yr. old Lily stares even longer at the scale and reads Amara's weight, "wow, you are 40-10 pounds!" To make sure they repeated that 3 more times! Same results... aMaZiNg!

It's Birthday Time 4 Amara and Malia!!!!

Happy Birthday Glitter Graphics Amara & Malia! This month is a special month for my granddaughters, Malia and Amara. It is very difficult to write this blog for tears come to me as I think of them in my life. 2 years ago this month our family was celebrating the entrance of 2 of our granddaughters, 2 weeks apart! I remember the joy and excitement I felt knowing they were coming! It was like I was having my own little babies! Now my babies are having their own babies. But being a grandma u may think is different but NOT, it isn't. The joy is immensely profound!! I loved watching Amara and Malia as they discover the world! I love listening to Amara sing and hearing that she had a shot from a nurse then she whimpered with the pain but barely managed to say thank you! I love watching Malia put everything in her mouth and the reaction she gets as if the world is only fairly judged by whether she likes the taste of it or not! They both are so willing to give grandma a sweet hug and a kiss to warm and make me their grandma feel so extra special! I love them so much...!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LILY!

Happy Birthday Glitter Graphics

I love getting silly with Lily! She comes up with the funniest stuff, too! She is such a wonderful help to her little sister, Amara. She is also for the most part very patient with her. Seeing life through her eyes has made me discover and appreciate all that God has given me!! Happy Birthday, Lily! We truly luv YOU!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MANDY!

Happy Birthday Glitter Graphics

I can't wait to see Mandy's blogspot telling how her birthday went! I just wanted to wish and make sure I thank Mandy for her loving devotion she gives to our Jaxon and Micah! She has been a wonderful addition to our family for sure! She adds such novelty with a smile! I love how creative she is and I love listening to her. She also has a funny laff, that makes Jaxon laff, too! Her warmness is just what her family needs and we all need! Good job Micah! You picked a most wonderful one. We want to keep her for eternity becuz she sure is a keeper!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SPENCER!!!

Happy Birthday Glitter Graphics



HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPENCER!!!

Thanks for all the love and fun you share with us as a family!
I can't tell you just how much of a blessing you have been to us!
When I first met Spencer I was so taken back at the way he volunteered to help in the kitchen after meals or help bring up stuff instead of sitting around. He has such a good heart that I am so glad April married him. We love him so much! Thank you Spencer for choosing to be a part of our family! Hope you had a spectaculatious birthday for sure!

Happy Birthday, Micah!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MICAH!!!!! We jus' luv da heck outta ya~ Thank you for all that you do for us, with us and at us! ahaha~!We hope your day was as special as they come!

A big sister to love!

The other night I was babysitting so Lani and Steve could go to the movies for a date. Well, I was putting the girls down when Amara ran as fast as her legs could take her.

I asked Lily, "Where is she going?"

She said, "To the table".

I was so exhausted that night from work and getting up was the furthest thing from my tired legs and mind. So I asked, "What is she doing there?"

Lily replied from the hall, "She is standing on the chair."

Then I said (although I heard her) "What is she doing?" To kill time knowing I would have to get up and resolve to do just that.

Then Lily faithfully said, "She is climbing on the table."

I knew at that point I had better get her. But as quickly as I started getting up, I could hear her assuring voice to Amara saying, "It's okay Amara, I will help you get down. I will be your hero."
She quietly and carefully lifted her sister down (although her sister is almost as big as her.)

Even though I was tired I offered up the prayer of my heart to Heavenly Father in thanksgiving for a day that wasn't promised to me that I could witness such a tender moment and to be reminded of how important examples are in a family. How important that we pick our heroes so we could follow their example and enrich not only our lives but the lives of those we care about. I am sure Amara appreciated Lily as she said, "Tank you, Lolly."

The 3 Things

The Things

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back -

Time

Words

Opportunity
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Three things in life that may never be lost -

Peace

Hope

Honesty -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three things in life that are most valuable -

Love


Self-confidence


Friends and Family
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Three things in life that are never certain -

Dreams

Success

Fortune
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Three things that make a man/woman -


Hard work


Sincerity


Commitment
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Three things in life that can destroy a man/woman -

Alcohol


Pride


Anger

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Three things in life that, once lost, hard to build-up -

Respect


Trust


Friendship

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Three things in life that never fail -

True Love


Determination


Belief
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P.-----pray
U.----until
S.----something
H.----happens

When there is nothing left but God,
that is when you find out that God is all you need.